Man mot kvinna (humor från FZ Forum)|Allt mellan himmel och jord|Forum|Nordichardware

Hittade en rolig historia som användaren Gabor på FZ hade postat.
Tänkte dela med mig av den här för den var rätt bra 🙂

Gabor URL: http://www.fz.se/forum/viewtop.....hp?t=44396 wrote:
I never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and women differ so much. And I never figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women think with their heart. I have never figured out why the sexual desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the words "I do ".

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says
- I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.
I said
- WHAT???!!! What was that?!
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...
- You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.
She responded to my puzzled look by saying
- Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited.

She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said
- That's fine, honey.
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said
- I think this is all dear, lets go to the cashier.
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out
- No honey, I don't feel like it.

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
- WHAT??!!!
I then said
- Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added,
- Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?
Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after pigs fly over a frozen hell while monkeys fly out her butt.