En historia om mjölk, datordelar och ångest|Generella frågor|Forum|Nordichardware

Skrev denna historia igår och idag, lite väl lång men även lite rolig förhoppningsvis. Kort sammanfattning: Jag pajar min dator och tar tillbaka den till liv på ett jävla MacGyver-sätt.

Tyvärr är den skriven på Engelska (för att kunna postas på andra forum), men jag hoppas ni är såpass språkligt bevandrade 🙂

Chapter 1

I had just moved to campus. Everything was swell, and I was extremely excited about my 100/100 fiber. I hooked up my computer, and it wouldn't start. This was a long time ago (about 4-5 months) so I don't remember specifically what was wrong, but after weeks of torment I finally decided to use some saved up cash and buy computer parts for about $800. Hey, if you're going for a new computer you might as well buy something decent.

I bought everything anew, except for the chassi and the PSU. It later turned out that the PSU was way too old, so I had to go buy a new one at a local PC-store. The decision to keep my chassi would turn out to be my new computers Achilles’ heel. The Geforce 8800 GTS did not approve of my old sauna chassi design, so in keeping it from sounding like a nuclear reactor the chassi was open to the "skeleton". It's one of those old chassis where it all comes off.

Little did this upgraded computer know that his new father had problems with limiting his alcohol intake, being a new student. A month or so after living in harmony, something horrible happened. I had a friend from my home town coming over for the weekend. We were getting pissed, and as usual he got even more pissed than me. He disappeared, I went home (I have a girlfriend). I warmed up some delicious pizza and took a big glass of milk, and sat in front of my other love and switched on the monitor. Foggy bliss. Confusion.

For some reason I turn right in my chair. Turning back left, I strike my pint full of milk, seeing in slow motion how it flies over my desk. The white liquid of Satan flies and lands on the far end of my desk, some of it hitting my speaker, most of it hitting my rug, but some of it dripping onto the computer and, of course, it's inside components. By now I’m completely panicked. In atom bomb-fashion I duck and cover, going for the cables at the back of the computer. I drag them out quickly one by one, and drag the computer out on the floor.

Now I'm going fucking bananas. It feels like I just killed somebody, and I have no idea what I'm going to do. I run to the toilet, I get some toilet paper and I start wiping it.
Too make this story a little shorter; I'll make a jump in time. The computer did in fact work after this, but as you probably understand the chassi was screwed on so hard it might as well have been permanently attached. Jump ahead a maybe two months.

Chapter 2

Suddenly, my computer starts clicking. Or more specifically, my PSU is clicking. I’m getting a little worried so I shut off my computer, and looks inside. Trying to start it, I notice that the fan on the PSU is not working. It seems that the rest of the computer is working fine – but I’m not running my computer like this. I shut it off and pick out the PSU.

Looking at it, I can see that the glue inside has actually melted, and is now in drops and lines on the large fan. Remember, this computer part is the only one I didn’t buy on the internet. I contact the place where I bought it and say I need a replacement ASAP. Luckily, I get this. I wipe my PSU carefully to remove any staining of the white gold, and I get my ass over there and put $15 in between to get a better PSU because it’s the only one in.

When I get home, I plug it in. The computer won’t start. I’m starting to panic, the motherboard is beeping and the graphic card gives no output. I take the graphic card out (this piece of shit cost me like $260), and look at the connectors. Now I see something I have not seen before.

On the flat connector-part of the card there is dried milk. On the back of the card (facing upwards in the computer) there are “sticky” areas and some stuff look a little burned. Nothing extremely serious but it looks bad. Now I’m going for plan B.

I’m standing in my bathroom, cleaning the card with damp toilet paper, something that turns out to work surprisingly well. At this stage I’m thinking more about sending it in to the Internet store to get a replacement (as long as it doesn’t have fucking milk over it they shouldn’t question it). When it’s all shiny, I go back to my computer.

This is where shit goes MacGyver. I’m even going to give it its own chapter even though it happens 5 minutes after this chapter. Awesomeness ensured:

Chapter 3

I look at the PCI express connector on my motherboard. Some of the little “holes” that has copper connectors in them are filled with dried milk, making the connectors “freeze” in a non active position. Now I simply don’t give a shit and am willing to try anything.

I think about this once when I tried to fix a NES with broken connections inside. A pretty common problem with those. I failed like shit, but that doesn’t matter. I learned something.

So now I take out one of those black things that they put around cables when you buy them, the plastic things with a steel wire inside that bends. I bite it and pull back, to expose just the steel wire.
Now I’m on my knees, poking carefully in these connector holes with my steel wire, removing all dried milk and gently pushing the connector back into the middle.

After I’m done, I’m thinking – hey. I might as well try running it once before I send this shit in.

And holy shit.
It booted up.

Running almost 24 hours straight now and no problems what so ever.